Saturday, December 30, 2006

My place in this (blog) world

More thoughts on comparison and perceived significance

Today in something of a reflective mood I read back over some of my earlier entries. In my first post, I admitted to there being bloggers more skilled and more profound and certainly smarter and nearly every other superlative you could think of. Truer words were never spoken. As I cruise around the blog world, I find blogs devoted to the finer points of theology and doctrine, blogs that make my head hurt, blogs full of words and ideas I never knew existed much less that they were so dangerous (or beneficial, as the case may be) to my belief system. Blogs who teach me and challenge me. There are also blogs of homeschoolers and blogs of gardeners and blogs of those crafty-types who can even knit and crochet. There are blogs of young moms with young children, idealistic and full of conviction. I remember being an idealistic mom of young children. Let's just say my kids got older and I got, well, more realistic. Okay, more jaded and cynical. But I enjoy the memory. There are funny blogs, and do you know if I could choose one character trait, I would choose to be funny. I am so not funny, but wish I were. There are blogs with huge readerships, where a post on something as ordinary as blowing your nose can garner like 47 comments. That's just as a for instance...I haven't actually read something exactly like that.

So many blogs so unlike mine. Guess it's the overachiever in me, the part that feels like I must accomplish to be worthwhile, that says "So, why should I even bother." So what if I enjoy it, if it is not the funniest, or the smartest, or the most popular, then it must not be useful and therefore a waste of my time and yours. I read something pertinent to this (twisted) train of thought in Mark Buchanan's The Rest of God:
If there's one god of the age that Christians especially pay homage to, it's the god of utility. As a tribe, we're deeply, devoutly utilitarian. Everything we do we seek to justify on the grounds of its usefulness.
I confessed to my husband what I termed the "self-serving" nature of blogging. He countered with the comments that have read something like "Today your words were exactly what I needed." Not completely self serving.

Consider the following from Beth Moore's Bible study Beloved Disciple:
We can hardly overestimate the discouragement that comes from perceived ineffectiveness. Don't think for a moment the enemy won't do everything he can to convince you that your efforts in Christ's name are in vain. He preys on feelings of uselessness and worthlessness.
Further,
God formed us to seek lives of purpose and, for those who follow His lead, to find them ultimately in Him alone...big is not the goal. Christ revealed is the goal. (emphasis mine)
Sure, blogging is just blogging. It's not life or death or critical to anything. But sometimes I read other blogs and face the discouragement of perceived ineffectiveness. Even more, sometimes I hear of other's successes in ministry, things I ought to rejoice in, but instead find myself envious and discouraged. I forget that Christ revealed is the goal and He is best revealed through the weak and not the strong. I may wish to be funny or profound, but as I also stated in my inaugural post, what I am is ordinary. How I pray that through these very ordinary ramblings of a very ordinary life my God would reveal Himself extraordinary. I'd say that would most definitely be worthwhile.

1 comment:

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