Thursday, April 19, 2007

So much grace

Remember me stepping out of my comfort zone? It seems I need to set up camp as I will remain there for some time. God has seen fit to expand my sphere of influence, and it is a great responsibility. I am humbled. I am very excited. I pray I will be found faithful.

Yesterday following a series of meetings, nearly overwhelmed at the amount of information I was trying to process, I was changing back into my mommy uniform of a tee shirt and jeans and wondering to myself, How in the world? How in the world did I get here, to this place? As I reflect on the nerdy, quiet bookworm girl I was, who never quite fit in...and the insecure young mom I was, who never could quite define her place in this world...and then consider where I am and who I am and Whose I am...I am amazed. That I am a...
Wife to a wonderful, godly man of integrity and bold faith who loves me.
Mom to four sons. Four sons!
Bible teacher.
Blogger.
And now this new level of responsibility.

Amazing. I have to say with Paul, it is God's grace that has made me what I am (1 Cor. 15:10). And I'm not talking just about what I do, but what I am. It's His grace--wholly undeserved, completely unmerited and totally unearned. He has changed me, transformed me and brought me to a place I never dreamed for myself. Mine is an ordinary, common, everyday life yet full of the extraordinary, uncommon, divine Life. A Life more abundant. Definitely more than I could've asked for or dreamed of. And not I'm talking about more in the sense of accomplishment, but more in the sense of His grace and His Presence.

Earlier this week I received a publication of the alumni association of my alma mater. I receive these from time to time, I guess in some effort to increase membership, as I am not a member myself. Anyway, in the back of the magazine, there is a section entitled "Down the Years" where alumni can write in and report various and sundry life updates. New baby, new job, new promotion, new home, you get the idea. In years past, reading this section has provoked feelings of insignificance and even envy as I realized there was no forum for "Last night I stayed up all night with two children throwing up" or "I changed more diapers today than I could count and made three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and took a picnic to the park" or "Yesterday I unknowingly went to the mall sporting a spit up stain down the back of my shirt." Although I knew that the job I did...and do...is the most important one I could choose, part of me wished I had something to boast in, some accomplishment, some validation.

But not this time. This time, as I read through the names and corresponding accomplishments, I was overcome. Not with resentment, but gratitude. I realized mine may be an ordinary life, but I do not wish to be anywhere else, doing anything else. He has called me here, and because I have determined to follow Him wherever He leads and whatever He asks, I've discovered His amazing grace. Here. In the simple and the ordinary.

So much grace that I feel at times as if I am swimming in it, so huge and so deep that I may drown. (Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls...Ps. 42:7) So much grace I feel I might suffocate under the weight of it. So much grace that I feel completely helpless in light of His goodness. So much grace that I can only receive...

And God is able to make all grace abound to you...
2 Cor. 9:8

5 comments:

  1. Lisa, remember God uses the "ordinary" (even though I don't consider you "ordinary", I think your amazing).
    Anyway, I truly believe God has put you in this position and with the "Monday gals" praying for ya you can't go wrong.
    I love you, girl, and can't express how proud I am of you as you start this new adventure.

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  2. Lisa, what a blessing your words have been to me today - a needed reminder of proper perspective. I have recently been placed outside my own comfort zone and want to remain humbly at His feet to serve. May God continue to sustain you as you step out in faith for His glory!

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  3. Lisa, this is a beautiful post. I needed to hear it. I've felt those same feelings when I've read my alumni magazine, but I also know I wouldn't want to trade places with a single one of the people I read about. Thanks for these words! (And I'm glad you're back among the blogging, too....) :^)

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  4. I have been polite too long--you must tell what is going on! I'm so encouraged by your words, your confidence in God, and your overwhelming gratitude for our overwhelming God!

    Now dish!

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  5. Lisa-

    Your words are inspiring. I, too, am just an ordinary mom, yet everyday I am with my girls I feel I am accomplishing so much. It does still hurt that my loved ones don't appreciate what my "career path" is.

    Jenny

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