Tuesday, June 12, 2007

To Remember

It's an interesting phenomenon, really, me blogging. Not so much the writing part, I've always been scribbling down my thoughts somewhere. But the public part, that's what interesting, the fact that my scribbling is published out there in the big blog world, in such a public forum, for whosoever would to read.

I am very much a private person. I am learning to not be, to live instead an authentic life, honest and open and real, but my tendency is to hide and to blend, to keep safe. I see this tendency at work whenever anyone (in real life) says something to me about my blog and instead of being grateful for a reader and a kind encouragement, I am instead embarrassed and fighting the urge to hide!

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday. She was harboring some regret over a public display of her emotional side. She like me is somewhat reserved and she like me is not entirely comfortable with strong emotion, particularly in public. I, of course in the wisdom of the one able to give advice but not always able to receive, assured her she need not be embarrassed nor regretful of the true and honest expression of her feeling.

It's funny, because I feel something of her embarrassment in posting on my funk. Especially when that post garners one of my highest comment counts! Every word I wrote expressed exactly how I felt, yet I feel a little exposed in revealing such strong feeling. I think to myself, "Today I feel some better. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I remembered it. Maybe I overreacted. Maybe it was just all silly emotion."

I read somewhere that one of the most effective tools of our enemy is forgetfulness. We encounter some difficulty, perhaps we go through a fiery trial or we find ourselves in a funk, and we cry out to God. He shows Himself faithful to us but once He carries us through we tend to forget or at the very least minimize His sustaining grace and thereby deny the victory that is rightly His. No wonder the Bible is full of admonitions to Remember...

So I am on the other side. For now. For this funk at least. Part of me feels embarrassed by even admitting the funk in the first place. Part of me wants to minimize the depth of feeling I expressed in my post. Part of me wants to think it wasn't so bad and maybe I was just a little overly dramatic.

Instead I am to heed His call to remember. Remember His promises. Remember where I was last week and where He has brought me today. Remember the care and concern of my friends who pray. Remember that my God hears and answers. Remember that He was faithful yesterday and He is faithful today and He will be faithful tomorrow. Remember that nothing is beyond His care, nothing too trivial to take to Him, nothing too difficult for His power. Remember that He is most glorified in the transparent and the broken.

I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will meditate on all your works
and consider all your mighty deeds.
You ways, O God, are holy.
What god is so great as our God?
You are the God who performs miracles;
you display your power among the peoples.
Ps. 77:11-14

4 comments:

  1. I feel the same way when someone I know in the flesh says something about my blog. I get a little embarrassed. They are usually complimentary, but still...and then I wondery, "Why am I embarrassed? I put it on the internet!"

    I also felt the same way you've described feeling after my own "in a funk" post. I felt so much better after much prayer and blogging through it for a week that I began to wonder if I blew it out of proportion. Those posts also garnered more comments than usual.

    Your reminder to remember is very important! Thank you for sharing your brokenness and wisdom.

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  2. Amen to remembering who He is and what he has done.
    I loved Cindi's comment below..
    "Hold tight to what He has done."
    Blessings..

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  3. Thank you so much for sharing that beautiful text and reminding us how important remembering is! It's easier said than done, but also try to remember that sharing your low points helps others in that predicament too, and gives light to them again also, when the funk disappears! Your testimony to Christ's power and His Love changes lives! Keep sharing! We love to read about your experience and praise God along with you.

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  4. Reminds me of a quote from a book that I am going to have to go and dig out of the archives! If only I can REMEMBER where I put it!

    Beautiful post Lisa.

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