Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Thirty nine and counting...

Today is my birthday. Thirty nine years. THIRTY. NINE. YEARS. As in one less than the dreaded four zero. Yep, I've officially entered my last 365 days as a thirtysomething. That is, unless Jesus returns (even so...).

It's inconceivable, really. I mean, do you ever get over feeling like you're 27? Because I do. Of course, thinking rationally tells me that no way am I 27, having a 13 year old and all, but really, in my heart of hearts, I see myself as a youthful twenty seven years old.

In my heart of hearts, I said. In the mirror, not so much.

It's not that I'm grieving the passage of another year. I'm really not. I have before, when I turned 37 (or was it 36?). Then I grieved. Cried, even. Felt like I was hitting my late thirties (oh, the horror) and having nothing to show for it.

Of course, I'm wiser now.

Rather than grief, it's something more like shock that accompanies this birthday. And disbelief. Thirty nine just sounds old. Mature. Wise. Like one who is thirty nine ought to have her act together. Instead, I feel young, somewhat less mature, not quite so wise, and certainly not having any kind of act together in any form or fashion.

Feeling twenty seven as opposed to thirty nine.

But I realize something as I face this day, this year: I'm glad to be here, at this point in my life. Oh, it's hard alright. Way harder than life was at 27. I mean, I have a teenaged son in the house! And another son knocking at the teenaged door. And then another a couple of years after that. And then, finally, the last a couple of years after that.

Enough said.

Yeah, it's hard. But it's good.

After thirty nine years, I've walked with my God from my earliest memory. And now I can say I know Him and I love Him more today than ever before.

I've messed up--big time--and He's offered me forgiveness and grace. Again and again.

After thirty nine years, He's brought me to places and through places I never would've dreamed of. Never.

He's taught me...and changed me...and disciplined me...and carried me...and tested me...and showered me with His love and His mercy.

Here, at the thirty nine year mark, I know the blessing of a wonderful man to love and four precious children to raise. My Lord has granted me the holy privilege of investing in eternity by being a mom. He has called me to serve Him by serving others through teaching His holy Word.

Life is good even at thirty nine (and beyond) because He is good for an eternity.

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. (Ps. 90:12)

36 comments:

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    I know what you mean. I will never feel like I am in my 30's. I definitely don't feel old enough, wise enough or mature enough to be in my 30's and have 4 kids, a husband and a house.

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  2. Happy Birthday! I approaching the big 30 this year and facing some of the same feelings. A 30-year-old mom-of-three ought to know what she's doing. It sure doesn't seem like I'm almost a decade removed from college. But it's good to know that the disbelief will continue for years to come =).

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  3. Happy Birthday, Lisa. I have quite the same feelings that you do about getting older, but I would not trade this season of my life for anything. Yes, I am on the downward slope of my 30's (36), but I would rather be here, than in those 20's. I am much more in tune with self and have learned so much through the last few years about God. That is worth it all (even turning another year older). I hope you have a beautiful day, full of special memories! Blessings to you!

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  4. Happy Birthday to you
    Happy Birthday to you
    Happy Birthday to LISA
    Happy Birthday to YOU!!!!!!

    Be glad that you didn't actually hear that. ;-)

    Have a wonderful birthday!!!!!

    PSST: I read Blessed Child and
    L-O-V-E-D it!!!!!

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  5. Happy Birthday Lisa! It amazes me that every so often I find time to read your blog...my venture into blogging just never took shape...and I find myself in your words. I too will be 39 soon...in a few months. I have a wonderful husband and four boys, my oldest being 13. Lately, I have been feeling old, it seemed just yesterday that it was me attending youth group functions and now I am dropping off my teenager to them. I too feel 27. Just like you I am not really mourning my younger years it is more of a feeling that I have entered a different phase of my life. A time to walk stronger with God and fine tune my life as it is today. Afterall 39 is only a number...have a blessed day!

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  6. Oh Happy Happy Birthday to you. May God continue to richly bless you all the days of your life!!
    BTW: I've really enjoyed the 50's (way more than the 40's) I still feel like I'm 27 at times except for when I look in the mirror LOL!

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  7. Happy Birthday, my dear friend!!!!!!

    50 is my next mark...in just a few weeks...and you know what I feel like I am 27....ha

    Love you - have a great day!!!!

    MdA

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  8. Happy Birthday, Lisa! I pray your day (and year) is full of special blessings.

    I hit the big 4-0 this year and it hit me for the first time that I am getting older!

    I certainly don't feel mature and like I have my act together either. I suppose our years only make us humbler and more aware of how much we need Jesus...which is a good thing!

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  9. If it helps you any, you might find it interesting that you are actually in your 40th year. When you "turn" 39, it means that you have completed 39 years. We don't count 0-1. This way you can get over being 39 and 40 at the same time...or something.

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  10. Happy Birthday, Lisa! I loved how you said you keep feeling my age!!! I guess I need to make the most of 27! I really liked how you said that God is good "for all eternity." What an encouraging truth. I hope you have a blessed day!

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  11. Excellent birthday meditation!!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

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  12. Happy Birthday! 39 is not that old. But I'm sure that your kids keep trying to tell you otherwise. Don't listen! :-)

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  13. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!

    Blessings on your day. And what a beautiful post.

    Really, the forties are wonderful! There is something special about being there. But enjoy thirty-nine in the meantime!

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  14. Happy birthday!!

    What a nice post, Lisa. I still feel like I'm about 24. Guess I always will. I have a theory that most people don't really think they've got it all together. Some of us are just more honest about how we feel. :)

    Enjoy your day!

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  15. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I pray your day and year will be full of much laughter, love and blessings!
    I know what you mean. When I read something and they say, "this person is 33." I think "wow, that's old" then I have to remember that I AM 33!!! ;)

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  16. Happy Birthday! I always thought 30's sounded so old. I will be 36 in a few weeks and I sure don't feel old! My parents are approaching 60 and seem younger than most people I know in their 40's...I want to be just like that, I think it is a state of mind. I love being in my 30's and am looking forward to the 40's too...you just get to try it first!
    Enjoy your 39th year!

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  17. Happy, happy birthday!!!!! :-)

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  18. Hope your birthday is great! You can be wise and "27", lol. I don't feel my 33 either, but having a 13 year old, I can't take away years at all. I hope the next year flies by very slowly for you, ;)!!!!

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  19. Happy Birthday Dear Friend!!

    I hope you had a good day.

    Keep in mind - I'll always be older than you. Does that make you feel any better?!? :)

    Love you, Girl, Kathy

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  20. Not only is He good for eternity, but you lamb, will enjoy it with Him as you cling to Christ. Happy Birthday, friend.

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  21. I didn't mind turning 40 at all. I do totally understand when you say you feel younger. I feel so much like a child on most days.

    Yesterday, I took my first born child to university. When we walked away from the place where we left her, I felt like it was one of the most significant moments of our lives, yet it was so casual, so quick. I don't feel prepared for this part of my life. Maybe we're not supposed to.

    Have a blessed birthday, Lisa!

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  22. From my vantage point of being WAY ahead of you in years, I can assure you of the unfailing kindness of the Lord who goes before you. Happy, happy birthday, Lisa. May God bless you abundantly as only He can; with Himself

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  23. Hippo Birdies Two Ewes!

    I like to say I am 39.95 plus shipping and handeling!

    Praise God for his goodness to you and may you He bless your socks off for the next 39ish years!

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  24. Happy Birthday Lisa. I wonder if anyone actually feels their age. I still kind of think I will have it together when I am grown up. And then it hits me that I am, and it's disturbing.

    This was a lovely post and you have a lovely life. Kudos to you for knowing it, and May God bless you in your last year of being in your 30s.

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  25. Happy (late) Birthday. ...In my heart of hearts, I believe that God has somethings up his sleeve for you this year. May he open your eyes to see every iota of it.

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  26. I am now thoroughly depressed after reading only the first half of this post.

    Signed,
    Your 45 Year-Old Friend

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  27. Oh, Lisa! I'm behind on my reading but Happy Belated Birthday!!! And you know I've read that the 30's are the new 20's..so with that being the case you really are 29 - sort of..:))

    Blessings on you my sweet friend!! I hope it was a day of indulgences!

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  28. A bit late, but not short on the wishes...happy, happy birthday! :)

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  29. Oh, Lisa! I'm behind on my reading but Happy Belated Birthday!!! And you know I've read that the 30's are the new 20's..so with that being the case you really are 29 - sort of..:))

    Blessings on you my sweet friend!! I hope it was a day of indulgences!

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  30. Happy Birthday Dear Friend!!

    I hope you had a good day.

    Keep in mind - I'll always be older than you. Does that make you feel any better?!? :)

    Love you, Girl, Kathy

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  31. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!

    Blessings on your day. And what a beautiful post.

    Really, the forties are wonderful! There is something special about being there. But enjoy thirty-nine in the meantime!

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  32. Happy (late) Birthday. ...In my heart of hearts, I believe that God has somethings up his sleeve for you this year. May he open your eyes to see every iota of it.

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