Tuesday, October 16, 2007

A short break from the break

Yes, I know I am presumably on break. However, despite the way things appear, this is not blogging. What may seem to be a blog post is really something else: it is my confession. It is my praise. It is my heart.

Yesterday I threw a fit. Actually, it began on Sunday, so in fact it was two days' worth of a fit, a temper tantrum, a venting of the fears and frustrations that had been bottled up, simmering under the surface, and finally spewing. And spewing all over the place, I might add. I allowed my self-righteous anger and arrogance to nearly eat me alive. I nursed my bitterness and indulged my indignation and let's just say it was not pretty.

I am thankful for my friend who listened (sympathetically even) to my overwrought and overemotional outburst and accepted my humble and contrite apology that followed.

Oh, but our God is good. It is His kindness to us that leads to repentance. The Holy Spirit is faithful to bring conviction, and I am profoundly grateful for the mercy and grace He offers as I confess and repent. He is faithful and just to forgive, praise His name.

I am grateful for the conversation I had yesterday with someone I have never met, but with whom I share a common struggle and bear a similar burden. She and I are both seeking to not grow weary in doing good, believing our God to do huge things in our respective situations. (and if you happen to be reading this, know I am excited about meeting next month!)

I am thankful for the love and support of my husband, my man who stands with me as we fight the good fight, who encourages me and affirms me even when I am at my worst.

I am grateful for the pastoral encouragement that came in the form of a phone call late yesterday afternoon, the reminder (and perhaps rebuke?) to maintain proper perspective. I have been (am) so emotionally entangled that it is difficult to see beyond this present situation. Yesterday I was reminded that there are others engaged in a battle where the stakes are much higher, lives threatened and even lost, believers' children at risk. And besides that, I was encouraged to look beyond this life to the hope that is to come, the guarantee that my Jesus is returning, perhaps today! Even so!

This may sound strange, but I am thankful for my son's soccer game last night. I get such joy from watching all my children play, but especially my second son. He plays with such fervor, a leave-it-all-on-the-field kind of passion, wide open, no holds barred, and yesterday was no different. Seeing him receive the perfectly placed cross and head it into the net for a goal; well, that's just priceless. A great mood-lifter to be sure!

And then sitting around a table with ten or so other women, our Bibles open, our conversation edifying and honest, and the Holy Spirit of God in our midst...

Yesterday because my sinful pride I had a bad day.

But because of the grace and mercy of my Lord, yesterday I had a really, really good day.

And now we return to the regularly scheduled break.

10 comments:

  1. This is what makes me cherish you.

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  2. Wow... talk about a soul-searching post. Thanks so much for sharing that with us (me). I'm having a hard time spiritually right now. I'm struggling to find God in the midst of infertility. I know He's there. I just don't always know how to stay trusting... :o( Thanks so much for sharing, Lisa.

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  3. Lisa, I just want to let you know how much I love you, girl. Not only for the Godly example you are to me but also for your humanity. If we were perfect, we wouldn't need God.
    Thanks for being my friend and we'll all make it through this together!!

    KC

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  4. That'll teach you to say "I'm taking a break." :) I appreciate your candor, Lisa; posts like these really show your heart. It is good to know when others fight the same battles.

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  5. Lisa...I, too have been so discouraged in several areas of my life... I hope that you are feeling ENCOURAGED today....I know that we go through things for a reason and for a season...some seasons never seem to end...I also know that He will never leave us nor forsake us....I love you...

    MdA

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  6. Sharing your heart in such a transparent way has started my day with a blessing. Thank you!

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  7. wow - your "authenticness" is fabulous!!!! thank you!!!

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  8. Wow, I really needed that. Thanks for sharing your heart.

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  9. I knew you were taking a break but I just needed a little blog uplist. I am so glad that I checked. You do not realize how much you influence other people's life and how you inspire us to want to live with God as you do. Give yourself some credit.

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  10. Wow... talk about a soul-searching post. Thanks so much for sharing that with us (me). I'm having a hard time spiritually right now. I'm struggling to find God in the midst of infertility. I know He's there. I just don't always know how to stay trusting... :o( Thanks so much for sharing, Lisa.

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