Friday, February 01, 2008

Fourteen!

Today my oldest son, my number one baby, my firstborn, is fourteen years old. Today I mark fourteen years of motherhood.

Fourteen!?! That can only mean one thing: I am no longer 27.

*sigh*

I posted a sentimental reflection on his last birthday, and, well, here we go again. All my children are special and unique and cherished and loved just as much and with the same fierceness as my first, but there's something different about that first taste of motherhood that persists even fourteen years later.

With every stage of the firstborn's life, we break new ground. All is new, untested, and foreign. And can I just say there is nothing as foreign as raising a teenager? Nothing! And it only gets more foreign by the day!

Fourteen years ago, there in the hospital room, in an instant, when the doctor lay this wriggling, slimy person on my chest and proclaimed "It's a BOY!", my life was forever altered. Forever and ever altered.

Fourteen years ago I had no idea that motherhood was far more than playing house. It is exhilerating, challenging and heartbreaking, full of joy and anxiety, all at the same time.

I've learned much over the last fourteen years, and I've made a lot of mistakes (a LOT of mistakes). I've seen my own frailty and failures as a mother, over and over and over again. But I've also seen joy, great joy, and love, overwhelming love. Much, much to savor: first tooth, first step, first word, first day of school. "I love you, Mommy" and more hugs and kisses that could be counted. There is the yuck too: stomach viruses and spankings and temper tantrums in Wal Mart.

I've been there for it all and it is all worth it. All of it.

Yes, motherhood changed me, but in every respect for the better. I am grateful, profoundly and inexpressibly grateful, for the privilege and responsibility of being a mom. That God would call me to this, the raising these boys, is amazing and humbling...

I'm proud of this boy of mine. He is quickly growing (and growing and growing and growing...) into a man; this morning I looked (up) into his eyes, attempting to trace the little boy of my memory. He is there, sometimes more than he should be, but yes, he is still my baby.

As he grows (and grows and...) and matures and becomes his own man, I am tempted to pray that he will know popularity and favor, success and comfort, all the temporal blessings this world has to offer. Instead, I pray he will have courage to choose the hard thing of living for Jesus, of pursuing righteousness and purity before God, of taking up his cross and dying to self, of being a bold and unashamed witness for Christ.

To my son: may you never forget how much you are loved by your parents. May you walk with the Lord Jesus all the days of your life and may you live for His glory and His alone. Happy, happy birthday!

20 comments:

  1. Lisa, that is so sweet! My oldest, a boy, is 14 too! (What WAS in the water in 1993/1994?!?)

    I could so relate to all that you wrote. What a precious tribute for your boy.

    Love ya,
    Linda

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  2. Lisa,

    I'm a lurker...I love your blog. Your post this morning made me cry! I, too, have a little boy (and a girl) and they are still so young.

    I could want nothing more for my children than what you pray about for your son.

    What a lovely tribute to him on his birthday!

    : )
    Boom

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  3. Wow, Lisa! Left me in tears this morning!

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  4. Well, on the brink of leaving for a "manly" Men's Conference, your words have turned me into a weeping fool! Jesus wept, right?

    You have been, and are, the "perfect" mother for our sons. I love you!

    Husband

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  5. So sweet! Hope he has a great birthday!

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  6. This is so sweet! I hope your son has a very happy birthday.

    P.S. I like ti say that I am not a day over 21 yrs old :)

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  7. Lisa, you made me cry. There is nothing like our children and the love that we feel for them. Your a great mom and I know you are raising wonderful men for our future.

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  8. Well - my mascara is running down my face....thanks a lot.. I gotten such a good "do" on my make up today, too....ha

    You ARE a good Mommy and no. 1 is fine young man....I am very partial...

    MdA

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  9. Beautiful!
    My oldest son turns 18 in only 5 days... and so much stays the same in our dreams as a mom and yet so much changes.

    Cherish the days (as you obviously do!) and walk confidently in God's GRACE and STRENGTH.

    Happy Birthday!!!
    joanne

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  10. Last night on the phone when I mistaked your #1 for his dad I had forgotten his B-day was today. Where does the time go?

    I love all your boys but your #1 is turning into a fine man of God.

    Love you all and tell him Happy Birthday for me

    KC

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  11. Hi Lisa,
    You're such a great writer and this post about your son and motherhood was beautiful. Happy 14th birthday to him!

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  12. Beautiful! I can sorelate to your emotions in this post. My odlest is 18...it goes so fast. I love that part about your prayers for your son. They echo mine!

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  13. Too funny! I just finished a post for my daughter... she turns 14 TODAY! She isn't my oldest. My son is and he will turn 17 in 31 days. Yikes! I guess I am not 27 anymore either.
    Enjoy your baby. That is what I refer to my oldest as even as big as he is I remind him he is still my baby. There is just something special about the first born. There should be some priviledge for having to suffer through mom and dad practicing their parenting skills on him.
    Smiles!

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  14. Happy Birthday to your first born!!

    You expressed motherhood so beautifully!

    My oldest is sixteen and I could so relate to the temptation to hope for succes, popularity,...etc., but instead it is the courage to live for Jesus that we pray for. I loved this Lisa.

    Blessings,
    Chris

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  15. Thank you for your wonderful comment :)

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  16. Happy birthday, Lisa's son!

    My oldest is turning twelve this summer, and I can hardly believe it. She's going to be an incredible young woman - her faith is strong, she has an unerring moral compass, and I feel sure that she will go forth and spread her light wherever she goes.

    But still, twelve? How did I get a twelve-year-old? I'm still twelve myself! :)

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  17. Happy belated birthday to your boy!

    What a great tribute you wrote for him!

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  18. Lisa, first of all I can't beleive the first of that generation is now 14. Wow, and to think that I am just getting started. I loved reading your blog about your BIG boy growing up, it really touched me.



    We look forward to seeing you soon and love ya'll very much.

    Love ya lots,
    Rachael

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  19. Rachael RaileyJuly 01, 2011 1:26 PM

    Lisa, first of all I can't beleive the first of that generation is now 14. Wow, and to think that I am just getting started. I loved reading your blog about your BIG boy growing up, it really touched me.



    We look forward to seeing you soon and love ya'll very much.

    Love ya lots,
    Rachael

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  20. Lisa,

    I'm a lurker...I love your blog. Your post this morning made me cry! I, too, have a little boy (and a girl) and they are still so young.

    I could want nothing more for my children than what you pray about for your son.

    What a lovely tribute to him on his birthday!

    : )
    Boom

    ReplyDelete