Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Things I Have Been Doing Instead of Blogging

"So...don't you think you need to blog something again soon?" my husband asked me last night. Ever the obediently submissive wife (!), I am now attempting to comply and, with words being strangers to me lately, it is not so easy an attempt...

You may well wonder what I have been doing with myself in my absence--I know I do! So, in no particular order, here is a list of Things I Have Been Doing Instead of Blogging:
  • Organizing every closet and drawer in the house
  • Rising at 5 am every day for my quiet time
  • Cooking three meals a day everyday for my family
  • Memorizing the entire book of Romans
  • Training for a marathon
Okay, not.

I knew I couldn't fool you, but I have to admit, that list sounds better than What I've REALLY Been Doing Instead of Blogging:
  • Not sleeping and sleeping, both. Still not sleeping that great every single night, but sleeping far later in the mornings than I ever have when I do sleep and sleep well.
  • Reading voraciously. Finished "The Nine Marks of a Healthy Church." Also read a couple of Deanne Gist's historical novels and enjoyed them both. Read the final installment of the Twilight saga and hated it--just to name a few.
  • Cleaning house. Okay, once. The boys have done what little housecleaning has been accomplished this summer.
  • Trying to get ready for school to begin Thursday which apart from the necessary mental preparation also includes spending a small fortune on school supplies and attending orientations.
  • Playing hostess. Yeah, really. Hospitality, along with many other domestic virtues, does not come easily for me, but we've hosted groups from church, cycling friends, the youth group and others at our home over the last few weeks.
  • My usual worrying, fretting, moping, thinking, procrastinating...
So, really, I haven't been doing that much. Certainly not much of merit! I've been on break not because I've been so very busy but because I've been in a funk. Not an unfamiliar state for me, which longtime readers well know, but this go 'round, the funk seems more funk-y than usual.

And who can figure the why's and wherefore's of the funk? Surely I have no reason for my melancholy other than my own self absorption. I mean, really, turning forty in a few weeks, looking like I will be turning forty in a few weeks (and not the twenty seven of my mind's eye), putting on weight, adjusting to a new normal, not having a Bible study to teach (for now)--are these reasons to make myself miserable?

No.

Today I pray with the psalmist: "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you..." (Ps. 42:5-6)

Even in my melancholy and my funk, I choose to remember and to hope in Him. His mercies are new every morning!

11 comments:

  1. Dear, sweet friend, I'm sorry your melancholy is heavier these days. With so much going on in your life, I can understand why. You are grieving, and that's to be expected.

    Adjusting to new seasons can be tremendously difficult. It's hard to let go of what's comfortable & normal. I'm praying He will make it easier for you to move into this new season with great anticipation of the blessings He has in store for you.

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  2. I just finished reading Psalm 42 and 43 over and over this morning. The words, "Hope in God" are written in my journal over and over.
    I have been reading your blog and hear your heart. (just not commenting much anywhere these days) I wish we could sit and chat, over so many things.
    Blessings to you sweet bloggy friend!

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  3. I'm in the same place today! Thanks for sharing these timely words and for encouraging me when I needed it.
    May God bless you richly and encourage you in turn.

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  4. Nothing but a great big hug for you!

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  5. Amen girl!

    I've missed you, so it was good to hear from you! Thanks for your ongoing honesty!!!

    much love and hugs!

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  6. I've missed you, too, and I'm so sorry to hear about the funk. I can relate - I get so very melancholy sometimes, too.

    I prayed for you this afternoon, specifically asking our Prince of Peace to grant you rest.

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  7. Just wanted to let you know I love you. Funk and all!!

    I'm praying for you - for this to pass quickly.

    By the way, we need to celebrate your birthday milestone. :) or not. You let me know. How does a night at our favorite Asia restaurant sound?

    Just think, you could be me. I'll be the big "half century" in 5 months :(

    I love you, Kathy

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  8. Why is the first list better than the second list? That's the lie that too many women fall prey to. That living our life is somehow deficient to "running a marathon" or "memorizing the book of Romans". I don't buy it. Being a wife and mom, taking care of our family, spending time with God at whatever point in the day we do it, laughing with our children and at our children, caring about our church, serving, etc. If we are were God wants us then those are things we should celebrate. Who cares if we do things as well as the next person? Do what is important to our family and what God has called us to do. Don't let the world or ourselves convince us that is anything less.

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  9. Would it put a smile on your face if I told you that I totally believed your first list until you burst my bubble?

    Because I did. I hold you in high regard.

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  10. Hey Lisa,

    I'm in a funk today as well. The feelings are rooted in grief and being overwhelmed. I watched this video, had a good cry and feel like I can now set my day and mood in the proper perspective. I am AMAZED.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECxUupqLNQA

    blessings,
    Flowerpot

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  11. I just finished reading Psalm 42 and 43 over and over this morning. The words, "Hope in God" are written in my journal over and over.
    I have been reading your blog and hear your heart. (just not commenting much anywhere these days) I wish we could sit and chat, over so many things.
    Blessings to you sweet bloggy friend!

    ReplyDelete