Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Their mom is a pauper

I was clearing out my nightstand a few weeks ago and ran across some old photographs. Given our current stage of parenting, I was interested by a couple of pictures taken some twenty-plus years ago at my own high school graduation. I was struck by how young my mom looks! And young she was, younger than I am now by a couple of years.

I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day, relating all the latest comings and goings and telling her about helping my son fill out scholarship applications and write corresponding essays and she remarked that she couldn't believe that we were even talking about such things. In other words, we agreed that time, it flies; just as I've confessed such a time or two here on the blog.

How strange to think back to my own high school graduation and then so quickly find myself as the mom anticipating my son's. And yet here we are just a few months' out. I can only wish I look as young and as beautiful as my mom did! And she is such a good mom too; always has been. I am so thankful for my parents!

I remember as a girl computing what my age would be in the year 2000. Imagine my girlish surprise when I realized I would be close to my mom's age! So old...or so I thought as a young nine year old girl. Of course, the closer we drew to the turn of the the millennium the more I realized I wasn't quite as old as I'd dreaded nor as old as I had imagined my mom to be...

I sometimes wonder how my children see me. Old, probably. I have no illusions that they would think me the perfect mom. Quite the contrary, as my failures and inadequacies are on full display for all to see. And remember. Though in my more neurotic moments I fret that I have somehow ruined them forever (and perhaps I have...there's still time, you know...), as I think on it, I confess I really don't want my legacy to be perfection but that despite my many mistakes and shortcomings and outright wrongdoings there was much grace. Yes, I fail. But praise be to God He forgives and He redeems. I am far from the perfect mom yet I belong to the One whose arm is not too short to save!

So, in twenty years or so, when my guys find pictures of their high school graduations may they not only remark on my youth and beauty (or, not...) but even more so may they know their mom is a pauper to the extravagant grace of a merciful God.


...formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. 
But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, 
and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me 
with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 
The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, 
that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.
1 Tim. 1:13-15

5 comments:

  1. One thing with me and my boys is that I hear and take an interest in their music. One day, my youngest son had on a band t-shirt. The name of the band was creatively drawn, but I could't quite make it out, so I asked him to tell me. I had heard of them, so I said, "Oh yeah, I have heard of them." Later that day, on his Facebook, is status was, "My mom knows band names. Is that cool, or what?" That made my day. I don't want to be seen as totally out of touch by them, and I don't want to be seen as a woman trying to be young (they have friends with mothers like that), but it's nice to know they used the world "cool" with something I did.

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  2. The verses really tell it all. He has done so much for us...

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  3. "... yet I belong to the One whose arm is not too short to save!" I love Isaiah 59! (I also love Isaiah 58 and 60, and all the other chapters extending up and down.) Years ago I subbed in a High School Sunday School class at the last minute and with no lesson prepared decided to go with Isaiah 59:1-2. We had some great discussion going that day.

    As for my kids thinking I'm cool or lame, I think they tend to go with lame more often than cool, but a couple months ago my son brought home some friends from college and after they left we found out they told him his parents were the cool parents. Believe me, I'm planning on reminding him of that when the situation warrants.

    Cheers,
    Tim

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  4. I love this post. " I am far from the perfect mom yet I belong to the One whose arm is not too short to save!" I need to remember this thought. So thankful for God's amazing, extravagant grace.

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  5. Lisa, this made me both laugh and choke up. The latter because I lost my mom last spring and think those same thoughts about time and aging when I look at the old photos. The former, because at 60 I still feel "young" inside so I asked my 4 yr old grandson Jimmy the other day if I was "old" or "really old". Answer: "Really Old!" hahaha!

    ps. Don't worry about your kids too much. Just pray a lot. :)

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